October 3, 2008

Q/A - One Mom's Concerns About Information Retention

Dear Friends,

It’s not uncommon for us to receive questions about Epi Kardia curriculum particularly concerning how to use it properly. Occasionally, we get questions addressing specific learning and/or teaching issues. We believe that the following question and answer may be beneficial to many moms, so we’re publishing it as a blog. Many thanks to the mom who graciously agreed to let us share her concerns in order to help her fellow home school moms.

Question:

Hope you are both well. I am hoping that you can help me with something…

My daughter struggles with information retention. As you both know, we have been using the Epi Kardia curriculum this year and I am finding that she just isn't remembering things that she is reading. For instance, only 2 weeks ago, we spent at least an hour reading about the Parthenon, looking at the pictures in the book, discussing how it might have been built, et cetera. Today, I mention the Parthenon and she says, "What is that? I have never heard about that." I am getting increasingly frustrated.

Now, if it is something she sees in a video, she can remember it for the ages. She knows every creature, habitat, and name in the Jacques' novels - The Redwall Series, but she can't remember what she read in her Ancient Greek book yesterday. I think it is selective retention and her natural tendency to speed read, but don't know how to improve it other than reading everything that she reads and making worksheets - which would drive us both crazy. If I make her read aloud, she reads slower but does not retain any better.

Do you have any recommendations? She gets extremely defensive if I ask her ANYTHING about what she just read. For instance, I asked her to complete the Venn diagram today comparing Sparta/Athens and she simply said 'It isn't necessary. I know it all already." When we sat down to do it, she did know some things, like their differing forms of government, but she said that was insignificant and not worthy of putting in the Venn diagram. ;-) I don't think she is being disrespectful - she simply does not retain the important things - but she can tell you if they had cats in Greece! or every type of land animal in Europe at that time. She thrives on projects - things she can make with her hands but I can't turn every book we read into a project - or can I?

She is 11, tested in 90th percentiles last year on SAT, and is my artsy kid (5 years in Montessori school when I worked full time), learns best on the floor of her room, and thrives in chaos. Maybe I am making more of this than I should but I am really concerned that she just does not retain info. She is a poor speller, too.

Suggestions?

Answer:

What you’re experiencing is really not uncommon at all, especially for an 11 year old. I know that I went through very similar responses from John Paul and it wasn’t until a couple of years later that he really matured enough to realize that I was doing this for his benefit! As you probably know, children have different learning styles or some combination of learning styles. We do cover this in the Epi Kardia manual (www.epikardia.com/teacher_s_manuals.html), but let’s look at in light of your daughter, specifically.

1. She clearly isn’t an auditory learner. If you find that discussing material is not enough for her to retain it, then it’s not her strength. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss the books, it just means that you probably shouldn’t spend the bulk of your time discussing the books. It is easier if your child is an auditory learner because you just have to say things (and a lot less messy too!), but it’s not uncommon for a child to not learn through audio processes exclusively, even for a time. Just don’t rely right now on teaching her something when listening is the primary source of learning.

2. This age is extremely dedicated to what they’re interested in. Even when I taught in the classroom, I noticed immediately that children learn more about what they find fascinating. Sometimes that fascination comes from curiosity; sometimes it comes from your enthusiasm or may even come from seeing the same thing or concept in various places (in a book, then on tv, etc). The reason your daughter can remember everything from Redwall is because she loves it and she doesn’t think of it as school. Again, pretty normal. That’s why it’s so important that parents monitor their kids’ tv viewing and extracurricular reading, which you obviously do. Don’t despair over this…history has many interesting topics but we sometimes have to search with our children for them. One idea is to go over the general topics for a time period and ask your daughter what she’d like to study most. Is she more interested in people than buildings and events (many young girls are more relationship oriented)? You don’t have to completely overlook everything that she doesn’t seem particularly interested in, but definitely spend more time on areas in which she shows interest. Don’t worry about being off balance in what she’s studying as it all comes together by the time she’ll graduate. Also, girls at this age like to think of themselves as more mature, so seeking her opinion could be a powerful tool. It certainly was with Ally. She loved the historical fiction and didn’t get into the non-fiction so much at 11-12 years old, so I made sure that we were reading some really interesting historical novels or fiction in every unit and lessened the load on the non-fiction that year. She learned a tremendous amount because the historical fiction is packed with great material that is just presented in a different way.

3. The next recommendation you basically made yourself. You refer to her as “artsy”; she’s obviously bright and you can have her do as many projects as you can fit into the day. Projects are such an awesome way to help hands-on kids retain what they’ve learned. The key is to make sure the project is relevant and that she can actually tell you why it’s relevant to what she’s studying. Lap books make ideal projects for hands-on learners because they incorporate skills such as writing and organization, but also allow for unlimited creativity.

4. Don’t fret over the spelling. Do check her written work and maybe even keep a list of words that she commonly misspells in her notebook, referring her to this list as she writes. John Paul just started spelling well this year and it’s only because he got tired of me making him correct spelling and now uses spell check faithfully. There are many skills that will carry your daughter successfully through this life, but personally I’m not sure spelling is one of them. Oh my, and that’s coming from an English teacher!

5. Finally, I personally feel it’s important to address situations when a child feels comfortable determining whether an assignment is significant or not. I am not implying at all that your daughter is disrespectful, but young ladies do often feel that they know a great deal more than they actually do. I think sometimes it’s necessary to gently point out to a child that while she may be exceptionally bright, she's not really qualified at this point to determine the relevance of an assignment. You could use your relationship with God as an example. When we make decisions in life, feeling confident that we know what’s best, sometimes those decisions aren’t really for the best because we don’t see the whole picture the way God does. That’s why it’s so important that we read His Word, listen to Him through prayer (and other wise people) because He has a bigger view and definitely more experience and wisdom. At the same time, we can be confident that God loves us and therefore, all decisions that He makes for our lives are in our best interest. Transition to the point that God put you in charge of your daughter’s education because you see the bigger picture for her, have more wisdom and really want the best for her in all things. If you can get her to accept that premise or line of thinking now as your child, she will be much more likely to conform to it in her relationship with the Lord as an adult.

I am always so impressed with your comments and concerns for your children. You definitely should be concerned if you feel any of your children aren’t getting the most out of their learning experiences. Just remember that the most valuable learning is actually a result of a layering effect and over time, even things that your daughter doesn’t seem to remember at the moment may very well come to her a year from now. The brain is an amazing creation but rarely seems to work for our convenience.

I remember being where you are and I have total empathy! I’ll be praying for you and your daughter and look forward to hearing about her progress.

Many blessings,

Beth

Filed under Curriculum, Teaching Middle School by Beth

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August 26, 2008

Should You Join a Co-op?

I'll never forget my first co-op experience. We had too many moms with two many children of different ages trying to accomplish too much. When we hit the mid-year mark and felt that we'd really given it a shot, several of us dropped out. I think it might have been a better co-op once we'd left simply because the numbers were more manageable. Numbers are just one factor related to whether co-ops succeed or not. If you're thinking of starting a co-op or joining an existing one, answer the following questions:

How well do you know the other members and the children of the co-op? Getting involved with other families that you don't know well for an adventure as long term as a co-op can be a risk. They may be families that you spent time with on field trips or moms that you've seen once a month at meetings. Neither of those situations really reveal how families handle overall discipline or organization. They don't demonstrate their work ethic, quality of education or time management skills. Even among believing home schoolers, we are a diverse group of people focusing on various priorities and valuing different things. We may all be saved, we may all love Jesus, but that doesn't mean we all have the same ideas about what should get accomplished, how long it should take and who should be disciplining an unruly child. All of these situations and more are addressed during co-ops so you'll want to consider them ahead of time. If you are attracted to a particular co-op but don't know the families well that are involved, find other ways to get to know them. Be up front and let them know that you don't want to join and not meet the needs of the group to your best ability.
How do you and your children handle group situations? Some children don't do well in large groups so choosing a co-op that works with your children's comfort levels is important. Remember that co-ops can grow, so that sweet, intimate group that you started with may expand unless guidelines are established to prevent it. Also, some children don't respond well to other adults disciplining them, even mildly. Some adults don't like to discipline other people's children. I personally wouldn't be in a co-op with a mom who wasn't comfortable with correcting my son, when necessary. I also couldn't be in a co-op where a parent wouldn't want me to gently correct her child, if needed. If you have a child with a learning disability, attention challenges or underdeveloped social skills, the distractions of a co-op group could prove to be frustrating all the way around. I'm not saying that such children shouldn't be in co-ops. I am saying that finding a smaller, tightly knit group with lots of structure and grace would work best for such a child to truly benefit and to be able to contribute. My son might enjoy a large co-op but I know that he wouldn't benefit near as much once it grows beyond 3 or 4 other kids. Knowing your own child is an important step to defining the healthiest co-op situation for both of you.
What are the goals of the co-op? Many times, collaborating with other moms sounds like so much fun and it's just great to get the kids together once a week. However, you probably don't want to have a co-op that doesn't also help meet some of your educational goals. Otherwise, you're most likely just adding another event to what may already be a very busy week. Co-ops with specific goals and objectives tend to be more successful for both the parents running it and the children participating. For example, we are currently in a co-op that features several different goals spanning a variety of subjects. However, the main goal of the co-op is to make up for the weaknesses of teaching individual high schoolers. Our co-op goals are as follows:
- Complete our Chemistry labs in a group setting (other connected goals include: working as a team and writing a successful lab report)
- Have intelligent discussion about the history books being read (other connected goals: read with a purpose, communicate what has been read, analyze reading aloud with others and apply content to projects and other activities)
- A Bible study from a male perspective (connected goals: examine the journey from boyhood to manhood with a Biblical perspective, to be in a comfortable enough setting to discuss personal male issues and to interact with godly men as role models and mentors)
- Practice speaking Spanish with someone who is fluent.

Our co-op was derived from a need to fill the gaps of our own perceived weaknesses. We are three moms with three high school boys. We knew that if we did a Bible study, it wouldn't be the same as having godly men share this time with our boys. None of us speaks Spanish fluently, so we combined efforts to utilize a fluent college student to converse with our boys during co-op time each week. By combining efforts, we found a way to improve the quality of education for our boys, give them time to interact with other boys their age in a meaningful way and also share the burdens with one another, making them easier to bear. Not all co-ops will be developed with the same thinking. Some families do co-ops for social reasons while others really want to focus on academics. No matter what the reason, establishing firm goals from the beginning offers a greater opportunity for success.

Do you have the time and resources for a co-op? While answering this question, you need to consider that co-ops are a combination of efforts and that means that you'll be expected to contribute time, energy and maybe even money. If you already find your schedule tight, jumping into a co-op may just result in more stress. If you're considering joining an established co-op, be sure to inquire about your responsibilities and commitment. As well, how much will you need to work with your child at home on co-op homework, projects, etc. Finally, will you need to travel to the co-op? How much time will be eaten up on the road, prepping for the co-op and cleaning up afterward? If you are considering starting a co-op, be sure to ask all of the above questions as well as the time, energy and money needed to get the co-op off the ground and keep it running smoothly.
Will the co-op add to the quality of your child's education? If you could just as easily meet the goals of an existing co-op by working with your children at home, it is probably not the best choice for your family. In these situations, the co-op may become cumbersome and you'll soon be looking for reasons to leave. Don't rush into a co-op because it sounds like fun or because you're pining for social interaction unless those are your primary goals. While I completely understand those needs, an educational co-op may not be the place to have them met. Wait for a co-op situation or create one that will compliment your child's educational experience, enhancing what you're already teaching or opening a door for a new learning opportunity. If you can find a co-op that meets educational needs and offers social interaction for you and your child, that's certainly ideal!
What will happen if you decide you can't continue with the co-op? It's rare for there not to be consequences when a family pulls out of a co-op. With my first experience, the only reason no one really suffered is because it was such a large co-op that I think we did everyone a favor by leaving. But in most cases, that's not how it works. For example, if the co-op is in your home, will you feel obligated to continue or will it be possible for someone else to take over that responsibility? Maybe you have a specific role in the co-op, such as teaching science; that would be challenging for another mom to just jump in and take over. It's really wise to have a contingency plan in mind in case you have to quit for any reason. While you don't want to go in thinking that you'll be leaving, having moms able to take on multiple roles and having an alternative location are both comforting for everyone involved.
Have you asked your "principal" for his opinion? Husbands and fathers can often see beyond our desires and hopes to the practical side of being home school parents. They may note when schedules are overloaded and decisions are being made emotionally. As well, if your husband supports the decision, you may be more confident in the likelihood that it's a healthy choice for your family.
Have you prayed over the decision? Whenever we make choices that directly affect not only us but other families as well, it's definitely essential to spend time in prayer. When we pray, we're less likely to make a decision based on emotional responses. If you attend a meeting about the possibility of beginning or joining a co-op, it's wisest to leave the meeting without a commitment and take time to consider God's will in the decision. As with your husband's support, a decision prayerfully made usually brings with it a level of confidence that's not there when you don't pray.

Co-ops can be beneficial and wonderful experiences. Examining your goals and reasons for creating or participating in a co-op may allow you to make a better decision. Involving your husband and God in the decision provides an even greater opportunity for success.

Watch for the upcoming second part of this series, A Picture of a Successful Co-op. May God bless you and your family!

Beth

Filed under Parenting/Homeschooling in General, Teaching High School by Beth

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August 18, 2008

The First Day of School

We just finished our geometry lesson. I know…an auspicious way to start a blog, but it's the truth. As John Paul sits here working on his math lesson, I suddenly realize that I only have three more first days of school with him! While that might be a relief to some moms, I want to cry. Where did the time go? How can he already be in high school? I am actually doing geometry with JP this year for two reasons: I didn't like it in high school and didn't retain any of the information, so I have to do it again in case he needs help with lessons and the writers of Teaching Textbooks note that it improves logical reasoning skills. Well, who couldn't use more logical reasoning skills? Last year, JP did most of his school on his own, short of the writing class I taught, and I have a feeling that no matter what subjects he took this year, I would've found a way to do them with him. I think he senses my neediness because rather than running off to his desk, which is typical, he stayed at the table to work. Okay…he is listening to his IPOD, but still, it's something.

Dana and I occasionally mention Epi Kardia projects and ideas that will be accomplished once our boys graduate. At the time, it sounds fun and exciting, but when it comes down to it, I have home schooled for so many years, I can't imagine not spending summers planning and setting schedules for the coming school year. Warning to all of my friends who have younger children: I may be popping in to "help out" in a few years.

I've heard many moms talk about special traditions for the first day or the first week of school and when my children were younger, we did plenty of fun stuff to get us psyched for the work to come. Now that it's just JP and me, I realize that he sees the first day of school as an end to summer freedom and I see it as one more step to sending him off to college. Not very positive, huh? So, last night, after church, JP and I stopped by the grocery store because I told him he could choose any breakfast he wanted for day one of his freshman year. I was a little surprised when I heard the word "pizza" come out of his mouth. Really? Really. I was putting a pepperoni pizza in the oven at 8 am this morning. It can't be worse than sugar laden cereal, I guess, and he sure seemed to enjoy it.

Being home schoolers, we all tend to enjoy the first day of school in unique ways. Some moms go all out while others jump right into lessons. A few ideas that have been suggested in the past include:

take photos of your children with "first day of school" and grade sign. One mom uses a "first day of not going to school" sign.
new pajamas to hang out in all day.
backpack filled with new school books and supplies.
set up calendar, looking ahead at the new school year and all of the exciting service projects, field trips, etc. to come.
holding school in a special location: at the beach, a park, etc.
if your children haven't applied for their own library cards, the first day of school may be a memorable time to let them do so. In some families, getting a library card is a "rite of passage" idea with the children having to reach a certain age or level of responsiblity.

I tend to be pragmatic. I made a schedule and I like to stay on it. Many home schoolers are much more flexible. Whether you're more like me or less anal, we'd love to hear your first day of school ideas! Do you have any special traditions? What are some of your most memorable first days of school? We'd love to hear from you and share your ideas with other families.

Whether you're back to school yet or not, I've prayed for all who read this that God will bless your time with your children, bringing your families great blessings this year!

In Christ,

Beth

Filed under Curriculum by Beth

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August 12, 2008

Do Not Fear!

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

I've had several emails from fellow home school moms lately who are feeling extremely overwhelmed. They're fearful about choosing the right curriculum, the right classes and creating a healthy schedule for their children. Will they have everything planned in time, will they be able to implement and follow through with the plans they've developed, will it all be enough or is it possibly too much, is home schooling really the answer? And the pressure seems to increase exponentially with high schoolers.Please know that I have been right there with you! This topic has come up often between God and me during my quiet time. He has laid upon my heart, one simple message…Do Not Fear!

I know…it's so easy to say, but what can a parent really do to overcome their fear?

Give up - Not really! But it's always an option and I thought it should be addressed. What would happen if you really did give up and just send your child back to school? Would your fear go away? Just an educated guess, but I'm betting that you'd just be replacing one set of fears with another. So, while it's an option, it's probably not the best one for dealing with fear.
Begin with quiet time - God is wonderful about helping me examine what it is that really concerns my heart. By leaving my fears at His feet, I realize that I'm not in this on my own. Even as a single mom, I am never alone. His wise counsel, through prayer and His Word, leads me. Sometimes, I think we separate our lives into practical and spiritual issues, then only share with God those things that seem spiritual. He created us, He loves us and He wants us to come to Him in all things, whether we're joyful or completely overwhelmed. I find that if I go to the Lord prior to planning and writing, my head is clearer, my mind is more focused and my heart is less stressed.
Evaluate your fears and concerns - write them down and evaluate their worth. I often divide things into two categories: what I can change and what I can't. If I can't change it, I have to let it go, otherwise I am not honoring God or myself by letting it fester in my heart and mind. If I can change it, I brainstorm what I can do about it. Often, surprising ideas come to mind as I am making notes and I realize that a more creative solution is possible. Another positive about addressing fears is that often by writing them down, we take the steam out of them. The mind is an amazing instrument, but it can certainly work against us when we're focused on the wrong ideas, allowing them to grow to mammoth proportions making them appear unsolvable. As a writer, I have an active imagination. It can a tremendous gift at times and a real monster creator at others! Actively evaluating your fears allows you to gain a realistic perspective.
Deal with the real fear - After evaluating your concerns, you should have a clearer picture of what's really at the heart of your fears. For example, maybe you really can't decide on the best math curriculum for your fifth grader. You've endlessly searched the web and put in a multitude of hours examining the math materials of every other family you know, but you simply can't make a decision. What if you choose the wrong curriculum? Is your fear not even related to math, but more to the fear of being equipped as a homeschool parent? Our insecurities often result in stress over simpler matters. If you worry about your capabilities as a teacher or parent, remember that God designed your children and you specifically as a family. It wasn't accidental or coincidence. In His ultimate plan for the world, He took the time to give you children to love and teach. He won't let you down when you are acting according to His Will!
Grow in your fear - I know it sounds odd, but scripture is pretty clear about growing through trials. If you can view challenging and insecure times as a period of maturing, situations take on a whole new meaning. This attitude develops through practice and by laying all things at the Lord's feet knowing that He has already worked out the solution. This isn't a passive methodology, but an active willingness to trust in God through all things.

Home school parents are as prone to peer pressure as anyone, it seems. We easily fall into the trap of comparing our children and our homes with those of others. We're a tight knit group and it's easy to think that others know more than we do or make better decisions. The reality is that each of our families are unique, each of our children have different gifts and weaknesses and even our goals may be different. We have one important thing in common…we were all created by a Heavenly Father who sincerely loves us and wants to be active in the lives of our families. By seeking His wisdom before others, we can be assured that He will lead us to those who will give us godly direction.

As you begin your school year, anticipate that there will be challenges, but don't fear them. God will hold you up and in your challenges, you can glorify Him!

Many blessings!

Beth