Our kids, as well as others, are drawn to a faith that is fresh and alive. In the midst of home schooling, laundry, diapers, housekeeping, ministry, etc., sometimes what we choose to omit from our schedules is regular, daily time with our Lord, to study and meditate on His word, and to pray. As my pastor often reminds his congregation, “We are leaky buckets,” needing to be filled and refilled on a daily basis. And without that daily filling, our faith becomes dry and stale. But how do I fit that in when I’m up half the night with a colicky baby or sick child? I remember a “mom in the Lord” telling me when I asked her that question that sometimes prayer and Bible time are even more important than sleep!

We all know it is a lot of work to homeschool, run a household, serve at church and sometimes even work inside/outside the home. But we must take the time, on a daily basis, to renew our faith and grow as believers. As my daughter says, we always think that if we worked a little bit smarter, harder or faster, we would have more time for our personal study, but it really is a matter of making it the first priority. If Susanna Wesley could talk with us today, I’m sure she would agree!

In Grace Alone,

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The Practice of the Presence of God –

Written by a Carmelite lay-brother over 300 years ago who took the name of Brother Lawrence, this inspiring book touched me because the author was such a quintessential example of a humble, joyful servant.  These comments are from the publisher: As a humble cook, Brother Lawrence learned an important lesson through each daily chore:  The time he spent in communion with the Lord should  be the same, whether he was bustling around in the kitchen, with several people asking questions at the same time–or on his knees in prayer.  He learned to cultivate the deep presence of God so thoroughly in his own heart that he was able to joyfully exclaim, “I am now dong what I will do for all eternity.  I am blessing God, praising Him, adoring Him, and loving Him with my whole heart.”

Seeking Him: Experiencing the Joy of Personal Revival–

This is an excellent 12 week study about personal and corporate revival, designed to be used in small group study.  From Amazon: Get ready to experience the freedom and joy of an honest and humble heart, true repentance, God’s amazing grace, genuine holiness, a clear conscience, radical forgiveness, sexual purity, and walking in the Spirit. Each week includes five days of individual study, questions for group discussion and interaction, testimonies of changed lives, and ‘Making it Personal’ questions and exercises.

Brokenness: The Heart God Revives (Revive Our Hearts)–

This is another VERY REVEALING  study appropriate for a small group.  I liken this study to peeling an onion, slowly, layer by layer. (Warning: You are the onion!)  This is the first of a series of three called “Revive our Hearts.”  This first one was fantastic–I will let you know when I have finished the other two. From Amazon:  Every great movement of God is preceded by a season of humility and repentance and a time of tearing down walls, of getting honest with God and others about your true spiritual condition.It may be hard. It may hurt. But in the end, God will use your brokenness to restore your ‘first love’ for Jesus, rekindle your spiritual fire, reconcile your relationships, and repair your life.A richer, deeper, more God-filled life is waiting for you. And it all begins with Brokenness.

The Gospel for Real Life (with Study Guide)–

I recently worked through this insightful ‘primer’ of the reformed faith  with a dear friend.  Jerry Bridges does an excellent job of clearly explaining our foundational beliefs in understandable language.  From Amazon: Why do so many believers live in quiet desperation? The gospel of Jesus Christ is the most explosive news of freedom the world has ever heard. Yet, why do so many of His followers experience so little of the gospel’s liberating power? Regrets over our past haunt us, fear and anxiety clutch at us, subtle legalism oppresses us, outright sin entangles us, and we spend much of the day without even thinking of God. Jerry Bridges maintains that the poverty of actual Christian experience is the result of an impoverished understanding of the depths of the gospel itself. The key is not to try a little harder, but to know more fully the incredible work of Christ on the cross-and to live in a more vital awareness of that grace day by day. Bridges does not flinch from the hard facts of human sin and God’s wrath-not exactly popular concepts today. But understanding them is absolutely crucial. For without a knowledge of the depth of our sin, we cannot experience “the unsearchable riches of Christ” that are available to us in the gospel. And when we know those riches, we are empowered to live every day “glorying in a sense of acceptance and the experience of grace.” The gospel is not just for the afterlife, but for today-it is the gospel for real life.

As a home school mom and teacher of home schoolers, I often wonder where we draw the line when it comes to actually home schooling. It seems that some families farm out their children for most subjects and athletics as well. Then there are other families who don’t use any outside resources. I guess this brings me to a question of how we define home schooling. For each family, I would imagine that there’s a different definition to some extent. For the first family described, home schooling might be defined generally as parents having full control over their children’s academic life without the parent doing the actual teaching. For other families, the idea that home schooling requires that the parents act as teachers may seem essential. I have even known families who have home schooled using nannies. Different states have different definitions of home schooling. I believe HSLDA requires members to be responsible for teaching their children at least 51% of the time. Does that mean that only those of us who do so are really home schooling our children? I wouldn’t make that judgment call for anyone. I do think that using outside resources can be very beneficial if you are wise about your choices and feel that there are strong reasons for doing so..

There are any number of reasons that families outsource certain classes for their children, at various ages, including the following:

1. The parent doesn’t feel capable of teaching the course. This is definitely a solid reason for using outside courses. However, be cautious about being too desperate and make sure that the class you choose for your child also meets the needs of your family’s value system and quality of education. 
2. The student desires to take an outside course. Often, by high school, home school students would like a little time away from home. Taking an outside course can offer an opportunity for growth, making the student responsible to another adult, which is a great learning experience. As well, outside courses often also offer a chance to socialize within a structured classroom environment.
3. The instructor of the course is someone  with whom you’d like your child to spend time. I once put Ally in a middle school current events course just because the professor had such a Biblical, eternal worldview and he was a person for whom I have tremendous respect. She learned to examine happenings around the world from a Christian worldview and loved doing it. I think that having other teachers who demonstrate a love for the Lord or a strong faith can be worth more than the actual course content. As well, teachers who are great encouragers can work wonders for a timid child. For some children, they hear encouragement from mom and dad for so long that it doesn’t have the same impact as if it came from an outsider.
4. You have a large family and need help teaching your children. At times, having one or more children participating in outside courses provides the opportunity for you to work with your other children on a deeper level. This can provide a benefit to both the children taking the course and the children at home.

When selecting an outside teacher or course, you’ll want to carefully think through all of the ramifications. Weighing the pros and cons makes a great of sense in this sort of situation. Below of some of the aspects I consider when selecting courses for my children and there are probably even more that are specific to your family’s needs and desires.

• Can you afford the course? It’s sad to have your student start a course and then have to pull him due to the inability to pay. It affects your child, the other children in the class, the teacher and the child that might not have been able to get into the class due to enrollment limits.  Although many families go through financial crisis at some point, it’s important to ascertain ahead of time whether you can really afford the outside lessons for the duration of the course. Be sure you understand ahead of time any books or materials that may add to the expense of the course.
• Is this a course in which your child can succeed? Sometimes, we are overzealous and want something for our children for which they may not be quite ready. I see this often with middle school students and parents wanting them to start high school courses in 6th and 7th grade. This can be appropriate for some students, but often it happens because the parent is worried the class won’t be offered when the child is truly ready to take it. It’s important for your child to succeed away from home. Be sure that he is ready for what the course requires.
• Can you and/or your child afford the time away from home? Parents who haven’t used outside resources previously often underestimate the time it takes to travel. As well, most courses require a serious amount of homework time that will take away from family and other studies. Be sure that you have a complete understanding of what your student will be expected to accomplish outside of the classroom. Also take into account whether there are outside projects and such that require meeting with other students in addition to class time.
• Is the instructor someone you want teaching your child? Outside instructors often have a tremendous impact, both positive and negative, on home school students because they are presented as immediate authority. My daughter loved every person who taught her. She had tremendous respect for her teachers and for good reason; they were awesome people who deserved her respect. But I was very particular about to whom I gave that authority. When we visited a local college, considering Ally for dual enrollment, my impression of the instructors was not very positive. I felt she wasn’t ready to be immersed in that environment even with her maturity level. Ally would’ve loved to have gone to college with those credits and she was certainly capable of the work required, but the possible impact of such instructors at an early age concerned more than receiving credits.

If you haven’t used outside teachers previously, there are some practical steps you can take when deciding who to use and what courses to select. Other parents and students can be excellent resources if you know they have the same value system as your family. When my son wanted to take drama and Spanish this year, I not only went to trusted parents who had put their children with these teachers, but I also interviewed students to see what they felt they learned if anything. Students will often be more straightforward and will point out both the positive and negative aspects. As well, they are actually in the classroom. Do be choosy about who you approach. Some people are very critical no matter how valuable the course or the teacher, and try to talk to at least 3-4 different people Of course, speak with students who are responsible and studious.

Consider interviewing the teacher ahead of time to be sure that you have the same philosophies concerning instruction and spiritual issues. I once spent three hours with an instructor on the phone and he was certain my daughter was ready for his course. In the end, although I believed him to be a godly and talented man, I felt that at the time he would certainly overwhelm my daughter who was several years younger than his average student.

Preview the curriculum used in the class. Don’t assume that a Christian teacher will use Christian curriculum. Most teachers use what they’re most comfortable teaching. I write my own curriculum and design my own courses and parents often ask me for a booklist beforehand. If you want a certain curriculum, be sure to connect with the instructor before enrolling your student.

Finally, determine what you want your child to achieve through the course and decide if it’s possible using a specific instructor and curriculum. If you don’t have a clear view going in, the waters may become muddy and you’ll end up frustrated by the end if your expectations weren’t met.

Once you have your child in an outside course, there are a few things you can do to assist your child and the teacher.

1. Communicate well with the instructor. Even with high school students, it’s important for the parents to understand what is going on with the course and the student. If you have concerns or family issues that pop up, communicate as quickly as possible for the best results. Most instructors are very sympathetic and will work with you and your student if they know what is happening ahead of time.
2. Pray for the class and the instructor. Teaching, as we all know, is a challenging calling and burn out rates are high. Prayer can make all of the difference! Letting the instructor know that you’re praying is a sweet gesture and most encouraging.
3. Encourage your student to do his best and assist, as necessary, particularly with organization. As students take more courses, they become more proficient at managing paperwork and such. Early on, your child may need some guidance in this area so he is organized and prepared for classes.

Utilizing outside resources can be truly beneficial for home school families. As always, prayerfully consider any such steps you might take with your children and be sure you understand both the positive and negative possibilities. As well, once you have put your child in an outside class, commit to making it best experience for everyone involved by praying and be involved.

Many blessings on your week!

Beth

What do you do when a your child has a bad attitude about doing his schoolwork, his chores, or anything else you’ve asked him to do?  I confess, my initial reaction is not usually pleasant, although I am working on that.  Of course, it has be the child’s problem, right? After all, I am the mature one…

Actually, over the years I have learned that the most profitable thing to do first is examine is my own attitude and expectations. Am I giving this child enough help and attention, or am I more focused on other tasks I want to accomplish during school time? Am I short-tempered or critical because I’m in a hurry or unhappy about being “interrupted, again?” Do I have too many other activities and commitments to be able to focus on my children and their education? (Ouch!) If this makes you wince, pray for yourself and your child(ren), and ask God to give you insight and wisdom into this situation. Believe me, He will do it.

Secondly, talk with your child about his attitude, and really listen to what he says. Is she hungry? Tired? Lonely? Overwhelmed? Sometimes there is a physical or psychological reason that can easily be dealt with by a snack and/or a little focused attention. If it involves more than that, at least you will convey to your child that he is more important to you than the completion of his grammar lesson.

Thirdly, determine if this is a character issue.  If it is, it’s critical to identify and take steps to remedy the problem.  God’s Word is very clear on the issues of anger and rebellion, and I believe the heart condition of a child is more important than his math facts. Teach scripture and train in righteousness.  Have him memorize pertinent verses and hold him, your other children, and yourself, to a standard of kind and cheerful speech.  Teach and reteach that “obedience” is the following: when you give an instruction, a child looks you in the eye and says “Yes, ma’am,” (I’m living in South Carolina) or “Yes, Mom,” and then immediately begins the task.

As well, this is a prudent time to get the principal involved. Whether Dad helps with academics or not, it’s critical for him to be aware, involved, and supportive of your goals and struggles with each of your students.Your children need to know they will answer to Dad for a poor attitude or negligent work.  One of the systems  we’ve had in place in our home during the ’younger years’ to facilitate communication is a weekly “Presentation Night.” Children have the opportunity to share what they’ve learned that week and present reports, and Dad has a chance to praise and encourage, as well as peruse any test papers and ask about any substandard work.

Lastly, use positive motivation and incentive.  Try to catch your student doing something positive, such as working quietly, completing an assignment independently or quickly, speaking kindly, or having a helpful attitude with a sibling.  When those occasions occur, we generally make do with a warm hug and verbal recognition, but you may want to take it to the next level.  A system of tally marks or stickers per incidence with a “store” of small items, where those tallies can be redeemed at the end of the week, may work well with your child.

With realistic expectations, a calm, organized and attentive mom, consistent training and good modeling, you should be able to see improvement in your child’s attitude. And if you are anything like me, you might even grow a bit in the process.

Still learning,

It is one of the biggest decisions homeschool families have to make. I know parents who literally spend years of prayer and have many hours of discussion before making such a choice. This particular decision can change the life of a child in ways we cannot always comprehend…in both positive and negative aspects. I believe that other than choosing to homeschool, it is one of the most challenging determinations for some families to make.

Should we homeschool through high school?

After talking with parents, it amazed me that such competent, loving and devout believers struggle with this issue. I don’t mean that in a critical way, but for me it was a no-brainer. Now, many of you will say that my confidence comes from having taught school. But in reality, my confidence comes from the Lord. For me, I read the scripture, Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6 NAS), and noticed that "child" was not defined as "until he is in high school". Before I get anyone really riled up, let me answer one question. Do I believe that every family should homeschool in high school? Well, to be honest, it doesn’t matter what I believe…it’s what you believe and where God leads your family. However, I do think that we often do things in this life for worldly reasons, particularly when it comes to our children. We teach them about eternity, but are we showing them how to live it out? This is a conviction that has long plagued me, especially when it comes to making difficult, life changing decisions. While teaching my children through high school wasn’t one of those decisions, I have plenty of others. So, as you read on, please do not see me as standing in judgment of whether you homeschool high school or not, but rather as a presenter of ideas to open up a possible train of thought and aid you in carefully thinking through your decision.

Reasons that people have given me for sending their kids to public high school:

1. I can’t homeschool high school. I barely made it through myself.  While I understand your thinking, it’s not true in many cases. (At least the first part!)There is a great fear about high school because suddenly accountability is so high. Credits must be earned to get into college. I remember when I had to teach Geometry to Ally . It was a nightmare for me initially because I didn’t understand Geometry when I took it. I just don’t think that way. However, I really had to give that class over to the Lord. I didn’t know about great interactive curriculum like Teaching Textbooks and Math U See at the time. I think we used a BJU textbook. But we made it through and I learned a great deal! Was I the most qualified teacher for Ally in this subject area? Definitely not!  Was I the person who was supposed to be teaching her this subject? I believe so. God doesn’t just fill in the gaps where we are weak, He gives us the Holy Spirit to pray us through those weaknesses and ask for the things that we cannot even express!  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. (Romans 8:26 NIV) God has also provided others to assist me in homeschooling. Ally and I will always have a special place in our hearts for Marie Owens, homeschool mom and College of Charleston professor because she did Ally’s biology labs with her. Marie not only encouraged Ally in her love for science, but she was such an example of a scientist who loves the Lord. Next year, my son is taking Chemistry from another mom and teacher. When I met her, I praised God for her and will continue to do so!  Between local teachers, online courses and well written curriculum, I firmly believe that anyone who has the desire and trusts in the Lord can homeschool through high school, despite perceived educational weaknesses.

2. I have smaller children and I really don’t have the time. I was recently reading a book about business consulting by Dr. Alan Weiss. He goes beyond business in the book and really addresses the heart of any person’s life when he says. "When you say you don’t have time to see your kids’ events, you really mean that other things are more important and you’ve decided not see their events." Now, he is speaking of priorities and business people who neglect their families for work with the excuse of "I don’t have the time." We make time for the things that are most vital to all of us in this life. We prioritize without thought sometimes. Imagine that you have found the time for your child for the last 13 years and yet, when it comes to high school, you don’t have it. You have invested so much into someone and then "lost" that time somewhere? Ironically, I have found that even though my children have taken the bulk of their high school courses with me and not outside the home, I spent less time on school with them in high school than any other school years. My time is more concentrated and thought out, but I make it despite being a full time freelance writer, half of Epi Kardia, teacher of other children and all of those other things we all do for church, friends, family etc. I am not super woman…not even close. Many of you with your multitude of children deserve that title much more than me, but I do ask God continually to help me prioritize. If you feel certain that God wants you to place other priorities over educating your high schooler then you are where you should be. If not, I would advise more prayer about it before making the decision.

3. My teen is well grounded in his faith and I see public high school as a mission field for him. Imagine how many other teens he can impact! I think that of all of the reasons I have heard in defense of not homeschooling high school, this is the one that affects me the most. The term that comes to mind is "leading the lamb to the slaughter." If God calls you to be an Abraham and to sacrifice your Isaac, by all means, obey Him. That is always the truth…obey God. He will always honor you for it. However, I would be absolutely certain that you are hearing God’s voice in this. In most cases, public school is a battle ground and you are sending your child into battle. I have taught in public school and it truly is a mission field, but before you put your teen into that mission field, be sure that God is supporting that mission. I often visualize myself standing before God as a parent, knowing that He will hold me accountable for who my children become in this world. If I do not make discipling them a priority, how can I ever disciple others effectively? I know that I have and will make many errors as a parent, but I’d rather those errors be out of ignorance, not choice.

4. My teen wants to play sports and he can’t play it outside of school. At least this is logical, although rather worldly. If your child is destined to be the next NBA star, God is not going to let school choice stop him. This is one of those areas when I feel we become more worldly than wise. I know of many high school homeschoolers whose children are very active in sports through private leagues and recreation departments. Some private schools allow outside students to play. My son currently practices Lacrosse with a private school because he likes their attitude better than the recreation department league. I called the school and asked, and they said "Yes." I praised God for that! It was an answer to prayer that took some time, but the wait was worth it.

Reasons that I have heard for why people homeschool high school include:

1. For his [her son's] emotional and psychological wellbeing. I was so afraid of him getting lost in the system and falling through the cracks. I felt like no one really cared about him or his education. -Sharon, a homeschool mom who pulled her son out of public school in his sophomore year.

2. The main reasons we homeschool in high school are we really enjoyed home schooling and the kids wanted to continue; they felt like they had superior learning and with outside classes with other kids, they wanted to maintain the strong relationships they had developed.  They had time to be involved in youth groups and we liked the flexibility. I had actually told my children we would not home school in high school, but once the doors opened up with what they needed, we found a comfort level making that commitment. I would sum it up as just a different quality of life.  -Sandy, a homeschool mom who has homeschooled from earlier years.

3. The reasons for homeschooling in high school do not change from homeschooling in earlier years. They’re basically the same reasons we started homeschooling to begin with. First of all, we feel like God’s called us to it. Secondly, we enjoy it. We love having our son with us, being involved in his education and him being part of our everyday lives. -Susan, a homeschool mom who’s son started out in private Christian school.

4. As she was wondering about going to public high school, we prayed with my oldest during her last year of middle school.  As parents, we did not have  peace about sending her to high school–why would we give her up now, during this crucial time?  As she prayed, she came to the conclusion on her own that her prayer and study time with the Lord would be drastically limited if she went to public school. (Besides, they wouldn’t let her go in pajamas.)Those high school years were among the most precious with her–God blessed her mightily, in many ways, as well as blessing us with a very close relationship as a result of that time together. –Dana, the other half of Epi Kardia.   

Finally, if you’re interested, I should include the reasons we homeschool. A calling from God is definitely the main reason for our homeschooling. Establishing strong relationships with my children beyond the norm, being able to disciple them on a near to full time basis and taking responsibility for their entire education, spiritually, emotionally and academically, all affected our homeschool decision. To be honest, John Paul and I, the only ones at home at this point, also enjoy the flexibility of creating our own days without the government telling us when to do what. 

I hope that this blog has been thought provoking and encouraging. Prayerful consideration and trust in the Lord will never lead you astray. I pray this for you, our readers, as well as for Dana and me.

Many blessings!

Beth