Epi Kardia » 2008

Should You Join a Co-op?

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

I’ll never forget my first co-op experience. We had too many moms with two many children of different ages trying to accomplish too much. When we hit the mid-year mark and felt that we’d really given it a shot, several of us dropped out. I think it might have been a better co-op once we’d left simply because the numbers were more manageable. Numbers are just one factor related to whether co-ops succeed or not. If you’re thinking of starting a co-op or joining an existing one, answer the following questions:

How well do you know the other members and the children of the co-op? Getting involved with other families that you don’t know well for an adventure as long term as a co-op can be a risk. They may be families that you spent time with on field trips or moms that you’ve seen once a month at meetings. Neither of those situations really reveal how families handle overall discipline or organization. They don’t demonstrate their work ethic, quality of education or time management skills. Even among believing home schoolers, we are a diverse group of people focusing on various priorities and valuing different things. We may all be saved, we may all love Jesus, but that doesn’t mean we all have the same ideas about what should get accomplished, how long it should take and who should be disciplining an unruly child. All of these situations and more are addressed during co-ops so you’ll want to consider them ahead of time. If you are attracted to a particular co-op but don’t know the families well that are involved, find other ways to get to know them. Be up front and let them know that you don’t want to join and not meet the needs of the group to your best ability.
How do you and your children handle group situations? Some children don’t do well in large groups so choosing a co-op that works with your children’s comfort levels is important. Remember that co-ops can grow, so that sweet, intimate group that you started with may expand unless guidelines are established to prevent it. Also, some children don’t respond well to other adults disciplining them, even mildly. Some adults don’t like to discipline other people’s children. I personally wouldn’t be in a co-op with a mom who wasn’t comfortable with correcting my son, when necessary. I also couldn’t be in a co-op where a parent wouldn’t want me to gently correct her child, if needed. If you have a child with a learning disability, attention challenges or underdeveloped social skills, the distractions of a co-op group could prove to be frustrating all the way around. I’m not saying that such children shouldn’t be in co-ops. I am saying that finding a smaller, tightly knit group with lots of structure and grace would work best for such a child to truly benefit and to be able to contribute. My son might enjoy a large co-op but I know that he wouldn’t benefit near as much once it grows beyond 3 or 4 other kids. Knowing your own child is an important step to defining the healthiest co-op situation for both of you.
What are the goals of the co-op? Many times, collaborating with other moms sounds like so much fun and it’s just great to get the kids together once a week. However, you probably don’t want to have a co-op that doesn’t also help meet some of your educational goals. Otherwise, you’re most likely just adding another event to what may already be a very busy week. Co-ops with specific goals and objectives tend to be more successful for both the parents running it and the children participating. For example, we are currently in a co-op that features several different goals spanning a variety of subjects. However, the main goal of the co-op is to make up for the weaknesses of teaching individual high schoolers. Our co-op goals are as follows:
- Complete our Chemistry labs in a group setting (other connected goals include: working as a team and writing a successful lab report)
- Have intelligent discussion about the history books being read (other connected goals: read with a purpose, communicate what has been read, analyze reading aloud with others and apply content to projects and other activities)
- A Bible study from a male perspective (connected goals: examine the journey from boyhood to manhood with a Biblical perspective, to be in a comfortable enough setting to discuss personal male issues and to interact with godly men as role models and mentors)
- Practice speaking Spanish with someone who is fluent.

Our co-op was derived from a need to fill the gaps of our own perceived weaknesses. We are three moms with three high school boys. We knew that if we did a Bible study, it wouldn’t be the same as having godly men share this time with our boys. None of us speaks Spanish fluently, so we combined efforts to utilize a fluent college student to converse with our boys during co-op time each week. By combining efforts, we found a way to improve the quality of education for our boys, give them time to interact with other boys their age in a meaningful way and also share the burdens with one another, making them easier to bear. Not all co-ops will be developed with the same thinking. Some families do co-ops for social reasons while others really want to focus on academics. No matter what the reason, establishing firm goals from the beginning offers a greater opportunity for success.

Do you have the time and resources for a co-op? While answering this question, you need to consider that co-ops are a combination of efforts and that means that you’ll be expected to contribute time, energy and maybe even money. If you already find your schedule tight, jumping into a co-op may just result in more stress. If you’re considering joining an established co-op, be sure to inquire about your responsibilities and commitment. As well, how much will you need to work with your child at home on co-op homework, projects, etc. Finally, will you need to travel to the co-op? How much time will be eaten up on the road, prepping for the co-op and cleaning up afterward? If you are considering starting a co-op, be sure to ask all of the above questions as well as the time, energy and money needed to get the co-op off the ground and keep it running smoothly.
Will the co-op add to the quality of your child’s education? If you could just as easily meet the goals of an existing co-op by working with your children at home, it is probably not the best choice for your family. In these situations, the co-op may become cumbersome and you’ll soon be looking for reasons to leave. Don’t rush into a co-op because it sounds like fun or because you’re pining for social interaction unless those are your primary goals. While I completely understand those needs, an educational co-op may not be the place to have them met. Wait for a co-op situation or create one that will compliment your child’s educational experience, enhancing what you’re already teaching or opening a door for a new learning opportunity. If you can find a co-op that meets educational needs and offers social interaction for you and your child, that’s certainly ideal!
What will happen if you decide you can’t continue with the co-op? It’s rare for there not to be consequences when a family pulls out of a co-op. With my first experience, the only reason no one really suffered is because it was such a large co-op that I think we did everyone a favor by leaving. But in most cases, that’s not how it works. For example, if the co-op is in your home, will you feel obligated to continue or will it be possible for someone else to take over that responsibility? Maybe you have a specific role in the co-op, such as teaching science; that would be challenging for another mom to just jump in and take over. It’s really wise to have a contingency plan in mind in case you have to quit for any reason. While you don’t want to go in thinking that you’ll be leaving, having moms able to take on multiple roles and having an alternative location are both comforting for everyone involved.
Have you asked your "principal" for his opinion? Husbands and fathers can often see beyond our desires and hopes to the practical side of being home school parents. They may note when schedules are overloaded and decisions are being made emotionally. As well, if your husband supports the decision, you may be more confident in the likelihood that it’s a healthy choice for your family.
Have you prayed over the decision? Whenever we make choices that directly affect not only us but other families as well, it’s definitely essential to spend time in prayer. When we pray, we’re less likely to make a decision based on emotional responses. If you attend a meeting about the possibility of beginning or joining a co-op, it’s wisest to leave the meeting without a commitment and take time to consider God’s will in the decision. As with your husband’s support, a decision prayerfully made usually brings with it a level of confidence that’s not there when you don’t pray.

Co-ops can be beneficial and wonderful experiences. Examining your goals and reasons for creating or participating in a co-op may allow you to make a better decision. Involving your husband and God in the decision provides an even greater opportunity for success.

Watch for the upcoming second part of this series, A Picture of a Successful Co-op. May God bless you and your family!

Beth

Posted in Parenting/Homeschooling in General, Teaching High School | Comments Off

The First Day of School

Monday, August 18th, 2008

We just finished our geometry lesson. I know…an auspicious way to start a blog, but it’s the truth. As John Paul sits here working on his math lesson, I suddenly realize that I only have three more first days of school with him! While that might be a relief to some moms, I want to cry. Where did the time go? How can he already be in high school? I am actually doing geometry with JP this year for two reasons: I didn’t like it in high school and didn’t retain any of the information, so I have to do it again in case he needs help with lessons and the writers of Teaching Textbooks note that it improves logical reasoning skills. Well, who couldn’t use more logical reasoning skills? Last year, JP did most of his school on his own, short of the writing class I taught, and I have a feeling that no matter what subjects he took this year, I would’ve found a way to do them with him. I think he senses my neediness because rather than running off to his desk, which is typical, he stayed at the table to work. Okay…he is listening to his IPOD, but still, it’s something.

Dana and I occasionally mention Epi Kardia projects and ideas that will be accomplished once our boys graduate. At the time, it sounds fun and exciting, but when it comes down to it, I have home schooled for so many years, I can’t imagine not spending summers planning and setting schedules for the coming school year. Warning to all of my friends who have younger children: I may be popping in to "help out" in a few years.

I’ve heard many moms talk about special traditions for the first day or the first week of school and when my children were younger, we did plenty of fun stuff to get us psyched for the work to come. Now that it’s just JP and me, I realize that he sees the first day of school as an end to summer freedom and I see it as one more step to sending him off to college. Not very positive, huh? So, last night, after church, JP and I stopped by the grocery store because I told him he could choose any breakfast he wanted for day one of his freshman year. I was a little surprised when I heard the word "pizza" come out of his mouth. Really? Really. I was putting a pepperoni pizza in the oven at 8 am this morning. It can’t be worse than sugar laden cereal, I guess, and he sure seemed to enjoy it.

Being home schoolers, we all tend to enjoy the first day of school in unique ways. Some moms go all out while others jump right into lessons. A few ideas that have been suggested in the past include:

take photos of your children with "first day of school" and grade sign. One mom uses a "first day of not going to school" sign.
new pajamas to hang out in all day.
backpack filled with new school books and supplies.
set up calendar, looking ahead at the new school year and all of the exciting service projects, field trips, etc. to come.
holding school in a special location: at the beach, a park, etc.
if your children haven’t applied for their own library cards, the first day of school may be a memorable time to let them do so. In some families, getting a library card is a "rite of passage" idea with the children having to reach a certain age or level of responsiblity.

I tend to be pragmatic. I made a schedule and I like to stay on it. Many home schoolers are much more flexible. Whether you’re more like me or less anal, we’d love to hear your first day of school ideas! Do you have any special traditions? What are some of your most memorable first days of school? We’d love to hear from you and share your ideas with other families.

Whether you’re back to school yet or not, I’ve prayed for all who read this that God will bless your time with your children, bringing your families great blessings this year!

In Christ,

Beth

Posted in Curriculum | Comments Off

Do Not Fear!

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

I’ve had several emails from fellow home school moms lately who are feeling extremely overwhelmed. They’re fearful about choosing the right curriculum, the right classes and creating a healthy schedule for their children. Will they have everything planned in time, will they be able to implement and follow through with the plans they’ve developed, will it all be enough or is it possibly too much, is home schooling really the answer? And the pressure seems to increase exponentially with high schoolers.Please know that I have been right there with you! This topic has come up often between God and me during my quiet time. He has laid upon my heart, one simple message…Do Not Fear!

I know…it’s so easy to say, but what can a parent really do to overcome their fear?

Give up – Not really! But it’s always an option and I thought it should be addressed. What would happen if you really did give up and just send your child back to school? Would your fear go away? Just an educated guess, but I’m betting that you’d just be replacing one set of fears with another. So, while it’s an option, it’s probably not the best one for dealing with fear.
Begin with quiet time - God is wonderful about helping me examine what it is that really concerns my heart. By leaving my fears at His feet, I realize that I’m not in this on my own. Even as a single mom, I am never alone. His wise counsel, through prayer and His Word, leads me. Sometimes, I think we separate our lives into practical and spiritual issues, then only share with God those things that seem spiritual. He created us, He loves us and He wants us to come to Him in all things, whether we’re joyful or completely overwhelmed. I find that if I go to the Lord prior to planning and writing, my head is clearer, my mind is more focused and my heart is less stressed.
Evaluate your fears and concerns – write them down and evaluate their worth. I often divide things into two categories: what I can change and what I can’t. If I can’t change it, I have to let it go, otherwise I am not honoring God or myself by letting it fester in my heart and mind. If I can change it, I brainstorm what I can do about it. Often, surprising ideas come to mind as I am making notes and I realize that a more creative solution is possible. Another positive about addressing fears is that often by writing them down, we take the steam out of them. The mind is an amazing instrument, but it can certainly work against us when we’re focused on the wrong ideas, allowing them to grow to mammoth proportions making them appear unsolvable. As a writer, I have an active imagination. It can a tremendous gift at times and a real monster creator at others! Actively evaluating your fears allows you to gain a realistic perspective.
Deal with the real fear - After evaluating your concerns, you should have a clearer picture of what’s really at the heart of your fears. For example, maybe you really can’t decide on the best math curriculum for your fifth grader. You’ve endlessly searched the web and put in a multitude of hours examining the math materials of every other family you know, but you simply can’t make a decision. What if you choose the wrong curriculum? Is your fear not even related to math, but more to the fear of being equipped as a homeschool parent? Our insecurities often result in stress over simpler matters. If you worry about your capabilities as a teacher or parent, remember that God designed your children and you specifically as a family. It wasn’t accidental or coincidence. In His ultimate plan for the world, He took the time to give you children to love and teach. He won’t let you down when you are acting according to His Will!
Grow in your fear – I know it sounds odd, but scripture is pretty clear about growing through trials. If you can view challenging and insecure times as a period of maturing, situations take on a whole new meaning. This attitude develops through practice and by laying all things at the Lord’s feet knowing that He has already worked out the solution. This isn’t a passive methodology, but an active willingness to trust in God through all things.

Home school parents are as prone to peer pressure as anyone, it seems. We easily fall into the trap of comparing our children and our homes with those of others. We’re a tight knit group and it’s easy to think that others know more than we do or make better decisions. The reality is that each of our families are unique, each of our children have different gifts and weaknesses and even our goals may be different. We have one important thing in common…we were all created by a Heavenly Father who sincerely loves us and wants to be active in the lives of our families. By seeking His wisdom before others, we can be assured that He will lead us to those who will give us godly direction.

As you begin your school year, anticipate that there will be challenges, but don’t fear them. God will hold you up and in your challenges, you can glorify Him!

Many blessings!

Beth

Posted in Encouragement, Parenting/Homeschooling in General | Comments Off

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