August 26, 2008

Should You Join a Co-op?

I'll never forget my first co-op experience. We had too many moms with two many children of different ages trying to accomplish too much. When we hit the mid-year mark and felt that we'd really given it a shot, several of us dropped out. I think it might have been a better co-op once we'd left simply because the numbers were more manageable. Numbers are just one factor related to whether co-ops succeed or not. If you're thinking of starting a co-op or joining an existing one, answer the following questions:

How well do you know the other members and the children of the co-op? Getting involved with other families that you don't know well for an adventure as long term as a co-op can be a risk. They may be families that you spent time with on field trips or moms that you've seen once a month at meetings. Neither of those situations really reveal how families handle overall discipline or organization. They don't demonstrate their work ethic, quality of education or time management skills. Even among believing home schoolers, we are a diverse group of people focusing on various priorities and valuing different things. We may all be saved, we may all love Jesus, but that doesn't mean we all have the same ideas about what should get accomplished, how long it should take and who should be disciplining an unruly child. All of these situations and more are addressed during co-ops so you'll want to consider them ahead of time. If you are attracted to a particular co-op but don't know the families well that are involved, find other ways to get to know them. Be up front and let them know that you don't want to join and not meet the needs of the group to your best ability.
How do you and your children handle group situations? Some children don't do well in large groups so choosing a co-op that works with your children's comfort levels is important. Remember that co-ops can grow, so that sweet, intimate group that you started with may expand unless guidelines are established to prevent it. Also, some children don't respond well to other adults disciplining them, even mildly. Some adults don't like to discipline other people's children. I personally wouldn't be in a co-op with a mom who wasn't comfortable with correcting my son, when necessary. I also couldn't be in a co-op where a parent wouldn't want me to gently correct her child, if needed. If you have a child with a learning disability, attention challenges or underdeveloped social skills, the distractions of a co-op group could prove to be frustrating all the way around. I'm not saying that such children shouldn't be in co-ops. I am saying that finding a smaller, tightly knit group with lots of structure and grace would work best for such a child to truly benefit and to be able to contribute. My son might enjoy a large co-op but I know that he wouldn't benefit near as much once it grows beyond 3 or 4 other kids. Knowing your own child is an important step to defining the healthiest co-op situation for both of you.
What are the goals of the co-op? Many times, collaborating with other moms sounds like so much fun and it's just great to get the kids together once a week. However, you probably don't want to have a co-op that doesn't also help meet some of your educational goals. Otherwise, you're most likely just adding another event to what may already be a very busy week. Co-ops with specific goals and objectives tend to be more successful for both the parents running it and the children participating. For example, we are currently in a co-op that features several different goals spanning a variety of subjects. However, the main goal of the co-op is to make up for the weaknesses of teaching individual high schoolers. Our co-op goals are as follows:
- Complete our Chemistry labs in a group setting (other connected goals include: working as a team and writing a successful lab report)
- Have intelligent discussion about the history books being read (other connected goals: read with a purpose, communicate what has been read, analyze reading aloud with others and apply content to projects and other activities)
- A Bible study from a male perspective (connected goals: examine the journey from boyhood to manhood with a Biblical perspective, to be in a comfortable enough setting to discuss personal male issues and to interact with godly men as role models and mentors)
- Practice speaking Spanish with someone who is fluent.

Our co-op was derived from a need to fill the gaps of our own perceived weaknesses. We are three moms with three high school boys. We knew that if we did a Bible study, it wouldn't be the same as having godly men share this time with our boys. None of us speaks Spanish fluently, so we combined efforts to utilize a fluent college student to converse with our boys during co-op time each week. By combining efforts, we found a way to improve the quality of education for our boys, give them time to interact with other boys their age in a meaningful way and also share the burdens with one another, making them easier to bear. Not all co-ops will be developed with the same thinking. Some families do co-ops for social reasons while others really want to focus on academics. No matter what the reason, establishing firm goals from the beginning offers a greater opportunity for success.

Do you have the time and resources for a co-op? While answering this question, you need to consider that co-ops are a combination of efforts and that means that you'll be expected to contribute time, energy and maybe even money. If you already find your schedule tight, jumping into a co-op may just result in more stress. If you're considering joining an established co-op, be sure to inquire about your responsibilities and commitment. As well, how much will you need to work with your child at home on co-op homework, projects, etc. Finally, will you need to travel to the co-op? How much time will be eaten up on the road, prepping for the co-op and cleaning up afterward? If you are considering starting a co-op, be sure to ask all of the above questions as well as the time, energy and money needed to get the co-op off the ground and keep it running smoothly.
Will the co-op add to the quality of your child's education? If you could just as easily meet the goals of an existing co-op by working with your children at home, it is probably not the best choice for your family. In these situations, the co-op may become cumbersome and you'll soon be looking for reasons to leave. Don't rush into a co-op because it sounds like fun or because you're pining for social interaction unless those are your primary goals. While I completely understand those needs, an educational co-op may not be the place to have them met. Wait for a co-op situation or create one that will compliment your child's educational experience, enhancing what you're already teaching or opening a door for a new learning opportunity. If you can find a co-op that meets educational needs and offers social interaction for you and your child, that's certainly ideal!
What will happen if you decide you can't continue with the co-op? It's rare for there not to be consequences when a family pulls out of a co-op. With my first experience, the only reason no one really suffered is because it was such a large co-op that I think we did everyone a favor by leaving. But in most cases, that's not how it works. For example, if the co-op is in your home, will you feel obligated to continue or will it be possible for someone else to take over that responsibility? Maybe you have a specific role in the co-op, such as teaching science; that would be challenging for another mom to just jump in and take over. It's really wise to have a contingency plan in mind in case you have to quit for any reason. While you don't want to go in thinking that you'll be leaving, having moms able to take on multiple roles and having an alternative location are both comforting for everyone involved.
Have you asked your "principal" for his opinion? Husbands and fathers can often see beyond our desires and hopes to the practical side of being home school parents. They may note when schedules are overloaded and decisions are being made emotionally. As well, if your husband supports the decision, you may be more confident in the likelihood that it's a healthy choice for your family.
Have you prayed over the decision? Whenever we make choices that directly affect not only us but other families as well, it's definitely essential to spend time in prayer. When we pray, we're less likely to make a decision based on emotional responses. If you attend a meeting about the possibility of beginning or joining a co-op, it's wisest to leave the meeting without a commitment and take time to consider God's will in the decision. As with your husband's support, a decision prayerfully made usually brings with it a level of confidence that's not there when you don't pray.

Co-ops can be beneficial and wonderful experiences. Examining your goals and reasons for creating or participating in a co-op may allow you to make a better decision. Involving your husband and God in the decision provides an even greater opportunity for success.

Watch for the upcoming second part of this series, A Picture of a Successful Co-op. May God bless you and your family!